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Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants...post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this. They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants...post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this. They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there. Including 45 illustrations by the author, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is an epic bizarro tale of dehumanization, gender separation, consumption, and violent sexual awakenings. A fast-paced post-apocalyptic adventure in the vein of The Road Warrior, featuring a very unique werewolf mythology.


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Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants...post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this. They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. Road Warrior Werewolves versus McDonaldland Mutants...post-apocalyptic fiction has never been quite like this. They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there. Including 45 illustrations by the author, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is an epic bizarro tale of dehumanization, gender separation, consumption, and violent sexual awakenings. A fast-paced post-apocalyptic adventure in the vein of The Road Warrior, featuring a very unique werewolf mythology.

30 review for Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

  1. 4 out of 5

    Dan Schwent

    In a post-apocalyptic world, the McDonalds Corporation picked up the pieces and rebuild civilization in its own demented image. People live and work in a red and yellow city-state, eating McDonald's three meals a day. When Daniel Togg's two extra arms are discovered, he's cast out into the wastelands, where he is quickly captured by the wolf-women. Will Daniel ever be able to return to McDonaldland? And will he want to if he gets the chance? Wow. If I wasn't already a fan of Carlton Mellick III b In a post-apocalyptic world, the McDonalds Corporation picked up the pieces and rebuild civilization in its own demented image. People live and work in a red and yellow city-state, eating McDonald's three meals a day. When Daniel Togg's two extra arms are discovered, he's cast out into the wastelands, where he is quickly captured by the wolf-women. Will Daniel ever be able to return to McDonaldland? And will he want to if he gets the chance? Wow. If I wasn't already a fan of Carlton Mellick III before this book, I sure would be now. There are so many things I want to mention but I'm afraid of spoiling too much. WWWW is a post-apocalyptic tale about a fascist city-state controlled by the McDonald's corp, although it's a lot more than that. It's a tale about conformity, male dominance, fear of female sexuality, corporate evil, lost love, and much, much more. The world-building in WWWW is the best in any Bizarro book I've read so far. Living in McDonaldland seems horrible in a whimsical kind of way. Imagine living in a world where you have to work two shifts a day, eating only McDonalds, and everything is shades of red and yellow? Throw in Fry Guy policemen and it just gets worse. The world outside McDonaldland is pretty brutal but almost seems preferable to that kind of existence. Due to generations of eating McDonald's three meals a day, mankind has undergone some changes. Women slowly change into wolves with each orgasm and men undergo mutations as well. The source of the mutations are eventually revealed once Daniel spends some time in the Wastelands. The Wolves were interesting characters, particularly Pippi, Grandma, Nova, and Talon. The whole plotline of Daniel and Nova slowly getting back together was what sold the book for me. The big Mad Max style battles didn't hurt, either. The swapping of gender roles once Daniel is taken in by the wolves was another of my favorite aspects of the story. What else should I mention? I guess I'll say that if you find the current incarnation of the Burger King to be super-creepy, you probably won't find Mayor McCheese or the Hamburglar to be very loveable after reading this. I can't recommend Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland enough. It's not just a great Bizarro book, it's a great book. Period. It's also the most accessible of Carlton Mellick III's books I've read so far. If you're looking to give either Bizarro or CMIII a try, you could do a lot worse than this.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Rubi

    First book of 2016. I can say that I love Bizarro fiction, so imaginative, so funny, so crazy and interesting. I am being impressed by this writer, he is amazing! What to say about the ideas that he develops in this book? BRILLIANT. (view spoiler)[In McDonaldland you can only eat the food from McDonalds, women can not have sex because they turn into wolfs and that is why there is a group of women/wolfs in the Wasteland (outside the city), because they are expelled. Besides, some men are becoming m First book of 2016. I can say that I love Bizarro fiction, so imaginative, so funny, so crazy and interesting. I am being impressed by this writer, he is amazing! What to say about the ideas that he develops in this book? BRILLIANT. (view spoiler)[In McDonaldland you can only eat the food from McDonalds, women can not have sex because they turn into wolfs and that is why there is a group of women/wolfs in the Wasteland (outside the city), because they are expelled. Besides, some men are becoming mutants (because of the food). (hide spoiler)] I must say that I have enjoyed more the description and the curiosities of McDonaldland than the plot. I think that some things are too disgusting, for example: (view spoiler)[ How some men are raped by the wolfs... Urgh! Or Nova being raped by her own father.. (hide spoiler)] But... great and unexpected ending. "She's a hairy, dirty, smelly, dog-faced, flea-ridden, sadistic, evil, self-centered, arrogant, demanding, annoying, immature, bossy, needy, murderous, cold-hearted, psychotic bitch..."

  3. 4 out of 5

    Farrah (on a short hiatus!)

    Outstanding, fun, mayhem filled book! I'm so glad there's a sequel :D Is McDonalds aware of this book? How does the author avoid getting sued??! Very cleverly written and I laughed outloud a few times. Outstanding, fun, mayhem filled book! I'm so glad there's a sequel :D Is McDonalds aware of this book? How does the author avoid getting sued??! Very cleverly written and I laughed outloud a few times.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Steven

    Uhhhhhhhhhh.......I'm totally not a furry! I swear! Totally not thinking about tapping that. So Carlton Mellick! And his weird books. Books about post-apocalyptica and McDonalds and werewolves and Mad Max style insanity! Fun! Okay so it was probably around this time when I think Mellick's work hit a decent level of competence. The stuff before wasn't necessarily bad, but it was very rough around the edges. Warrior Wolf Women meanwhile was one of his first actual novels so it comes with all the bell Uhhhhhhhhhh.......I'm totally not a furry! I swear! Totally not thinking about tapping that. So Carlton Mellick! And his weird books. Books about post-apocalyptica and McDonalds and werewolves and Mad Max style insanity! Fun! Okay so it was probably around this time when I think Mellick's work hit a decent level of competence. The stuff before wasn't necessarily bad, but it was very rough around the edges. Warrior Wolf Women meanwhile was one of his first actual novels so it comes with all the bells and whistles one would expect with a more fleshed out narrative. For starters, contrary to previous novellas Mellick is much more about showing and not telling in this story. His novellas usually struggle at times because he tends to opt for explaining the setting and worldbuilding but here he provides a much more fleshed out world. Some of it is still clunky, like having a section of an early chapter have Daniel explain how to make booze out of ketchup packets, but points for effort. As for the characters, they're a mixed bag like you'd expect and like with any mixed bag, some of them are Twix Bars and others are razor-bladed apples. Daniel is perfectly functional as a protag, being a normal bloke - albeit with two extra pairs of arms - living in a world that is both run by McDonalds and yet somehow also is filled with werewolf biker babes. He feels more like an audience surrogate to ease the reader into the world at large, which for the most part works. Well, can't say it's not accurate. The rest of the cast are decently fleshed out with most of the furry cast easily defineable, albeit from a few traits rather than an entire psych profile. Pippi is pretty much a bitch from start to finish, Slayer hates men and sees them as slaves, Nova is the assertive waifu and Alyssa is a depiction of what happens when the werewolf condition goes all the way. From some characters we do get some character development, surprisingly from Daniel's brother Guy, a man with the manliest of moustaches who goes from being a model citizen to a someone sympathetic of the wolf women. But make no mistake, you're here for the weirdness and the world of Warrior Wolf Women is bizarre, even by Bizarro standards and if uncomfortable forays into sex aren't your thing, then avoid this one like an STD. Considering that sex triggers the transformation, things like rape (from both sides) are explored and it's not comfortable in the slightest, albeit a little skewed towards sympathy for the women. The thing is, like with Bizarro typically, the violence and gruesomeness gets to a point a lot of the time where it stops feeling uncomfortable and more like a cheeseburger induced fever dream. This is a book where a werewolf women the size of a bus uses a bloke as a dildo. I'm not kidding. Mellick must've mined some forum boards for that type of fetish shit. As for other weirdness, we have realistic mascots with heads made of actual meat and cheese.... This is Mayor McCheese. He would like to have a word with you. Weird government experiments and body horror parasites that turn people into breeding factories. And the gore. Oh my god, it's like Mellick decided to paint the town red, pink, purple, with shades of brain, intestinal tract and stomach lining. If there was a book that will make you never want to touch a burger again, I think I found it. Warrior Wolf Women is probably the point where I think Mellick truly came into his own as an author. By the standards of Bizarro fiction - which oftentimes feel a little mediocre - this is a solid outing that switches back and forth between rough subjects and gonzo absurdity at the drop of a hat. The story hits all the right notes, although it can feel like its spinning its wheels at times but comes to a suitably wild, gooey conclusion. Recommended, assuming you go and find Jesus afterward for your burgeoning Furry fetish, you sick weirdo! Imagine sticking your soft bits in that. No go get some help freak.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Paul

    I'm going to stick this sword into you, now would you like fries with that? If you could actually attach a Weird-Shitometer to the front of your Kindle, then this book would put the needle way into the red zone. You have to remind yourself that this is a BIZARRO story, and crazy, unbelievable stuff is just normal. But this...this is just...soooo weird that you have to wonder how anyone could come up with a plot as strange as this one. Loosely based on the McDonald's corporation world of character I'm going to stick this sword into you, now would you like fries with that? If you could actually attach a Weird-Shitometer to the front of your Kindle, then this book would put the needle way into the red zone. You have to remind yourself that this is a BIZARRO story, and crazy, unbelievable stuff is just normal. But this...this is just...soooo weird that you have to wonder how anyone could come up with a plot as strange as this one. Loosely based on the McDonald's corporation world of characters, CM3 somehow works a post-apocalyptic world war 3 (or 4 or 5 or whatever number it is by then) into the story. Amazing! Sit back, read, and enjoy, and laugh out loud like I did. And yes, I gave it 💥💥💥💥💥 because somewhere inside that deranged head of CM3, is a literary genius.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Dustin Reade

    Mellick won the Wonderland award for this book, and for good reason. This ranks among Mellick's very best work in my opinion. It features fully-realized characters, over-the-top violence, an engaging storyline, and truly original villains and situations. The basic idea is that McDonald's Corporation rules the world. Everyone is Morbidly Obese, and living this way for so long has had negative effects on the people of McDonaldLand. They mutate randomly, and the women have a big problem with sex. Se Mellick won the Wonderland award for this book, and for good reason. This ranks among Mellick's very best work in my opinion. It features fully-realized characters, over-the-top violence, an engaging storyline, and truly original villains and situations. The basic idea is that McDonald's Corporation rules the world. Everyone is Morbidly Obese, and living this way for so long has had negative effects on the people of McDonaldLand. They mutate randomly, and the women have a big problem with sex. See, when they have sex, they mutate into Wolves. Not all at once, of course, but little by little. This is not a spoiler, as you can get most of that from the blurb on the back. This description, however, comes nowhere near explaining the joy and wonder that is this truly weird, wonderful book. So much fun to read I was sad when it was over. Mellick has a real talent for storytelling. You have to read this book if you like any of the following things: happiness, interesting things, being alive, reading, breathing, McDonald's, Protesting McDonald's, evolution, or life in general. I will spend the rest of my life looking for more books like this one, and I am sad at the knowledge that there simply ARE NO BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE. Read it, read it, read it.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Donald Armfield

    Pop culture, horror, action pasted together by the mind of Bizarro founder. Mellick does a wonderful trick with McDonald's everyones favorite quik meal. A world where woman change into wolves after to much under the covers with the husband. Where you can only eat McDonald's food any thing else is illegal. Want some laughs and action check this out! Pop culture, horror, action pasted together by the mind of Bizarro founder. Mellick does a wonderful trick with McDonald's everyones favorite quik meal. A world where woman change into wolves after to much under the covers with the husband. Where you can only eat McDonald's food any thing else is illegal. Want some laughs and action check this out!

  8. 4 out of 5

    Albert

    Awesome book, definitely deserved the award that it won. Hope his follow up Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands is just as fun. Everything about this was so unique, what a wonderful imagination this author has. I won't be able to look at a dog or cheeseburger again without thinking "I hope Carlton Mellick isn't prophetic." His artwork included in this book was pretty sweet too. Awesome book, definitely deserved the award that it won. Hope his follow up Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands is just as fun. Everything about this was so unique, what a wonderful imagination this author has. I won't be able to look at a dog or cheeseburger again without thinking "I hope Carlton Mellick isn't prophetic." His artwork included in this book was pretty sweet too.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Elisa

    My first Mellick book! Was quite enjoyable and entertaining. Looking forward to the next one.

  10. 4 out of 5

    David Barbee

    Carlton Mellick has made his writing career as one of the pillars of the bizarro community. To some, he’s already a legend. But with his newest book, it’s easy to see that Mellick is still evolving as a storyteller. It seems he’s no longer content to put on a weird spectacle, so he’s pushing himself into new territories. Warrior Wolf Women is one of his longest books, and strangely enough, it’s not very genre-heavy. The post-apocalyptic “Road Warrior” theme isn’t so prevalent in Warrior Wolf Wom Carlton Mellick has made his writing career as one of the pillars of the bizarro community. To some, he’s already a legend. But with his newest book, it’s easy to see that Mellick is still evolving as a storyteller. It seems he’s no longer content to put on a weird spectacle, so he’s pushing himself into new territories. Warrior Wolf Women is one of his longest books, and strangely enough, it’s not very genre-heavy. The post-apocalyptic “Road Warrior” theme isn’t so prevalent in Warrior Wolf Women. This isn’t a simple adventure of barbarism in a blighted future. In fact, almost half of the story takes place in McDonaldland, a mega-city walled off from the wastelands (similar to the world of Judge Dredd). The landscape of McDonaldland could’ve been its own book, but Mellick has different intentions for this story. The main character, Daniel Togg, is exiled from the city to (presumably) die in the apocalyptic wild. Like I said earlier, what unfolds isn’t your typical post-apocalyptic story. Warrior Wolf Women becomes a tale of a fierce battle of the sexes. In this world, women slowly evolve into gigantic wolves while the men tend to sprout extra limbs. Both are considered freaks in civilized society, and are thrown out of the city and into the wild. In the wastelands, the Wolf Women enslave the men, and the men have rallied to defend themselves. The two factions are at war with one another, and Mellick uses this setting to tell a romance between Daniel Togg and his childhood friend, November. The two are separated by the weird gender roles society has thrust upon them. They are trapped in a cycle, as the women kill the men to survive, and vice versa. Some characters manage to break out of the prescribed roles of this world. The characters of Krall and Slayer seem to have some sort of loving relationship, founded on the fact that they aren’t your typical man or woman. They’re society’s exceptions to the rules, the ones who fall through the cracks. Because of this, they manage to create a real relationship when everyone else seems totally trapped by society’s gender roles. And as Mellick peels back the layers of this social structure, we see just how weird and depraved this gender separation can be. When Daniel discovers the secret schemes of the war between male and female, it’s absolutely stomach-churning. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is a pretty good tale, and it might go down as one of Mellick’s most thoughtful bizarro books. It was exciting, strange, violent, and sexual, but don’t expect a simple action story in the vein of “Mad Max.” There are plenty of crazy battles, but these scenes only serve a greater theme in the story. Despite the grittiness, this story has a lot of heart. Besides the theme of abusive gender roles, I thought Warrior Wolf Women was similar to “The Island of Dr. Moreau,” a meditation on the animalism of humanity and the sort of atrocities we commit against one another. There’s a lot going on for this book, and strangely enough, I haven’t really spoiled anything for you. Make sure you read this one.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Matthew Fryer

    This wonderfully titled book comes courtesy of Avant Punk, an imprint of the trusty bizarro kings, Eraserhead Press. The tale begins in McDonaldland, a futuristic dystopia in which the fast food corporation has absolute power and bland conformity is king. We meet our hero, Daniel Togg, a bored machine operator who brews illegal alcohol and soon finds himself banished. Beyond the towering city walls, he finds a dangerous wasteland populated by female biker werewolves, genetic mutants and other ren This wonderfully titled book comes courtesy of Avant Punk, an imprint of the trusty bizarro kings, Eraserhead Press. The tale begins in McDonaldland, a futuristic dystopia in which the fast food corporation has absolute power and bland conformity is king. We meet our hero, Daniel Togg, a bored machine operator who brews illegal alcohol and soon finds himself banished. Beyond the towering city walls, he finds a dangerous wasteland populated by female biker werewolves, genetic mutants and other renegade fringes of society. As the story progresses, we discover that the city has terrible secrets regarding the origins and history of the wolf women. Daniel is captured by a heavily armed faction named Warriors of the Wild, not realising that his loyalties will soon be tested. The post-apocalyptic wasteland has been rightly compared to The Road Warrior. There’s modified vehicles, plenty of weapons action, explosions, tribal atrocity and gruesome deaths. We come to meet many of the individual wolf women, each presented with lascivious artwork courtesy of the author, but there is depth to the characters too. My favourites included the cool and pragmatic Slayer, and the twin axe-wielding, dog-snouted Talon, a very powerful but sensible alpha female who is one of the warrior chiefs. And I’ll never forget the psychotic and terrifyingly childish Pippi whom I grew to love and loathe in equal measures. As well as the violence, there are some guiltily arousing wolfish sex scenes, and a deftly handled angle of lost love that is surprisingly poignant. It’s not a faultless book. There are several glaring text errors, which are always disappointing. And while the action is mostly a blast, a prolonged swordfight near the end didn’t work for me on the page, and I ended up skimming until I found its conclusion. I was also slightly disappointed when we left McDonaldland behind. It’s a fascinating idea. Here, the smiley, brightly-coloured facade of a fast-food environment – that masks the disillusionment or brainwashing of its automaton workforce - now infects every walk of life. The opportunities aren’t wasted, whether they be light-hearted fun or deeper social commentary, and I would’ve loved to have seen this concept explored further. But the matriarchal wasteland itself is a fresh and exciting vision, and there’s considered gender politics at play; it’s not just cheap thrills for the boys. This author always manages to blend twisted bizarro japery with substance. Despite its minor flaws, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is one of Carlton Mellick III’s stronger works. The conclusion is unpredictable, but without resorting to contrived twists, and nicely seals a subversive, intelligent and entertaining read.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Steven Rage

    Daniel Togg led a fairly placid life within McDonaldland, working for The Blessed McDonald's Corporation like everyone else that's left in this post-post apocalyptic world. Togg's doing okay, working his mindless gig, making illegal fire-water out of ketchup packets, until he discovers he is one of the many men-folk who seems to be mutating extra limbs. The females of McDonaldland are gradually turning into wolves, becoming more wolf-like as the women become sexually active. Unfortunately for bo Daniel Togg led a fairly placid life within McDonaldland, working for The Blessed McDonald's Corporation like everyone else that's left in this post-post apocalyptic world. Togg's doing okay, working his mindless gig, making illegal fire-water out of ketchup packets, until he discovers he is one of the many men-folk who seems to be mutating extra limbs. The females of McDonaldland are gradually turning into wolves, becoming more wolf-like as the women become sexually active. Unfortunately for both groups, the mutations of the men and the sexuality of the women are seen as a threat to the stability and purity of McDonaldland. So, out into the harsh and unforgiving environs of the Wasteland, they go. Besides trying to avoid all of the apartment building sized alpha wolves, the mutated men (outlanders) and the hyper-violent women (wolf warriors) spend their time trying to survive by hitting the McDonald's supply runs and fighting amongst themselves. Until the day comes when all three groups come together for a Wasteland armegeddon and all the wonderfully written bloody visceral violence. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is CM3's longest book since Satan Burger and arguably one of his best. I enjoyed the hell out of it! CM3 is one of the founding members and current stalwart of the Bizarro genre uprising (uprising sounds much cooler than movement, don't ya think?). CM3 is a very prolific writer with 26 books under his belt in less than a decade, and holds great relevence to the Bizarro genre and scene as a whole. And he is a very gracious, nice guy. Meeting his Royal Chop-ness in person can be quite intimidating. He's a big dude. CM3 seems as if he could and would crush your skull with one of his huge mitts with no more effort than it would be for him to squash an aluminum pop can. He's quiet, too. I don't know how someone that displaces so much air can ninja his way so quietly, but he does. Coupled with his darkly garbed uniform, CM3 would make a more than passable James Bond-type villian. But he's not. CM3 is just a writer. One of the best on the planet. Thank Gods.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Kirsten Alene

    I have already instructed everyone in the whole world to read Carlton Mellick III‘s strange and wonderful books. I like them more and more. The great thing about these books is that although they contain awkward and bizarrely pornographic scenes, surreal settings, strange twisted story lines – although they read like a cult movie with ad-hoc camera or a low-budget TV show – they don’t lose any depth or meaning. The Haunted Vagina surprised me by being so sweet, so hopeful, and so human; Menstruat I have already instructed everyone in the whole world to read Carlton Mellick III‘s strange and wonderful books. I like them more and more. The great thing about these books is that although they contain awkward and bizarrely pornographic scenes, surreal settings, strange twisted story lines – although they read like a cult movie with ad-hoc camera or a low-budget TV show – they don’t lose any depth or meaning. The Haunted Vagina surprised me by being so sweet, so hopeful, and so human; Menstruating Mall, while oddly disconnected from it’s epic ending, was still miles away from being just the entertaining story that I expected; and The Egg Man, though it contained the customary amount of Bizarro lewdness, was brain-exercising. I recently finished Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland and as usual I was not disappointed. The book is exactly what its title promises: Women turning into wolves in a post-apocalyptic Road-Warrior-esque wasteland outside of an isolated, pseudo-communist walled city called McDonaldland where the only food available is food from the McDonalds menu which is slowly turning everyone into multi-limbed mutants. Oh my! The only criticism I can offer is a very general criticism and it is that I am tired of irredeemably weak and pathetic male protagonists taken away by their own self-centered universes. It is a way of representing human beings that is sadly accurate. But it doesn’t have to be the only way. For more personal reasons, I am irked by the storyline that goes like this: Man in love with girl. Man crushed/disappointed/hurt by girl. Man finds other girl. Man dislikes/loathes other girl. Man somewhat apathetically enters into a relationship with other girl. Man figures he might as well love other girl. They live happily ever after. It seems too hopeless, too mature, and too un-explosive. Woody Allen tells me that this is how relationships and love are really conducted. But I like explosions.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Robert

    This book was my second go at CMIII book. I picked up Satan Burger years and years ago and never really got into it. So I wasn't quite sure what to expect picking this one up. The reader's thrown into a rather bizarre world right off the bat. I mean, there are plenty of familiar post-apocalyptic elements there to lube the way, but you're still knee-deep in a McDonalds-dominated society in which food-born parasites cause men to grow multiple limbs and women to become increasingly lupine with ever This book was my second go at CMIII book. I picked up Satan Burger years and years ago and never really got into it. So I wasn't quite sure what to expect picking this one up. The reader's thrown into a rather bizarre world right off the bat. I mean, there are plenty of familiar post-apocalyptic elements there to lube the way, but you're still knee-deep in a McDonalds-dominated society in which food-born parasites cause men to grow multiple limbs and women to become increasingly lupine with every orgasm. So hey, you're either on board or you're not at that point, but an entertaining tale unfolds from all that. Things get weirder, sure, but its a case where the world itself seems fully conceptualized. It's not merely a matter of the author throwing a bunch of weird-o content at the wall to see what sticks and becomes a narrative. I think its easy to look at the titles and illustrations for books like these and flash judge them as just weird-for-the-sake-of-being-weird. But they're also not weird-for-the-sake-of-creating-some-tired-metaphor. Instead, I think reading sufficiently weird fiction is like viewing strange shapes in a fog. At times the shapes seem analogous to something in the real world, but little becomes concrete. We want books that ask questions instead of rattle off presumptuous answers, right? But I'm rambling. This is a good read.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Donald Gorman

    mellick is an adept voice for the new counterculture. i'm becoming a fan! i was a bit hesitant with this book...i'm usually not big on post-apocalyptic fiction because it's reaching the 'been-there-done-that' stage in fiction. but mellick treats the subject with just the right sense of humor. he tells a good 'alternative werewolf' tale with a certain serious, respectable story, but still injects humor about the world in which we live. it's filled with war, violence, carnage, biker wolf babes, se mellick is an adept voice for the new counterculture. i'm becoming a fan! i was a bit hesitant with this book...i'm usually not big on post-apocalyptic fiction because it's reaching the 'been-there-done-that' stage in fiction. but mellick treats the subject with just the right sense of humor. he tells a good 'alternative werewolf' tale with a certain serious, respectable story, but still injects humor about the world in which we live. it's filled with war, violence, carnage, biker wolf babes, sex and love...all the things that make life worth living. it's about the only book i can name that is written in the first person by a character who spends an entire chapter inside a wolf's stomach (after being eaten), that is still an easy book to digest. mellick can tell a serious tale...yet he has a good sense of humor about our so-called civilization. mellick is intelligent, at times irreverent...sometimes pleasant...sometimes sick and gruesome. i wasn't sure how i was going to like this book, but i was really impressed. i like sick and gross as long as it is well-written, and mellick can deliver the goods. i'm becoming a mellick fan. if you like stories that are filled with war, violence, women who turn into wolves, carnage, sex and love...(and did i mention women who turn into wolves?)...then wolf this baby down. you'll be glad you did.

  16. 5 out of 5

    FasterKillFastPussycat

    Carlton Mellick has a crazy way of thrilling me, disgusting me, and amusing me all at once.He has a weird and creative mind. The McDonaldland city was so unexpected and yet totally believable.....McDonalds would be the corporation to make it through an apocalypse...lol!!!I didn't expect to read that in a book called Werewolf women of the wasteland...It was a pleasant suprise. Part of me wishes things would have ended differently but I can also see why the book had to end the way it did. Carlton Mellick has a crazy way of thrilling me, disgusting me, and amusing me all at once.He has a weird and creative mind. The McDonaldland city was so unexpected and yet totally believable.....McDonalds would be the corporation to make it through an apocalypse...lol!!!I didn't expect to read that in a book called Werewolf women of the wasteland...It was a pleasant suprise. Part of me wishes things would have ended differently but I can also see why the book had to end the way it did.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Shawn

    Even though I wasn't immediately hooked from the get go, Mellick III delivers his most ambitious action scenes while still providing the character details, gore, sexuality, all with an emotionally satisfying story arc. Then there is the main draw of the novel which is the werewolf mythology Mellick III has created where a woman's sexuality is dangerous and if not kept in check eventually turns them into (almost) totally inhuman killer beasts. There is also a bit more to it than that, but I'm not Even though I wasn't immediately hooked from the get go, Mellick III delivers his most ambitious action scenes while still providing the character details, gore, sexuality, all with an emotionally satisfying story arc. Then there is the main draw of the novel which is the werewolf mythology Mellick III has created where a woman's sexuality is dangerous and if not kept in check eventually turns them into (almost) totally inhuman killer beasts. There is also a bit more to it than that, but I'm not going into it. I even think the choice of having MacDonalds be the corporation turned city/state religion that flourishes is a good choice because of the way it works into the plot of the werewolf mythos, even if it dates itself. As usual, read Mellick III, do it you coward

  18. 5 out of 5

    Holly

    Honestly, not my favorite Carlton Mellick III book. I really enjoyed the parts in and about McDonaldland, the civilization owned and run by The Blessed McDonald's Corporation, but a lot of this story is just action fight scene. Honestly, not my favorite Carlton Mellick III book. I really enjoyed the parts in and about McDonaldland, the civilization owned and run by The Blessed McDonald's Corporation, but a lot of this story is just action fight scene.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Pythius

    very nice, less gross that geek love though which was unexpected carlton's art was pretty good too very nice, less gross that geek love though which was unexpected carlton's art was pretty good too

  20. 4 out of 5

    Margaret Jones

    Good read I'd really like to see these books turned into movies one day. This was an interesting read and I never got board reading it. Good read I'd really like to see these books turned into movies one day. This was an interesting read and I never got board reading it.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Samaire Wynne

    Whoa.

  22. 4 out of 5

    AC

    If that title did not make your mouth water already, feel free to continue reading my review! You will either want to read this book right away and run to your next online retailer (I don’t think you will be able to find this at your local book store…) – or you will be disgusted and never want to read my blog again. I just have a handful of readers, so I really hope for the first option. Warrior Wolf Women Of The Wasteland is a book of the bizarro fiction genre. This genre is fairly new, it exist If that title did not make your mouth water already, feel free to continue reading my review! You will either want to read this book right away and run to your next online retailer (I don’t think you will be able to find this at your local book store…) – or you will be disgusted and never want to read my blog again. I just have a handful of readers, so I really hope for the first option. Warrior Wolf Women Of The Wasteland is a book of the bizarro fiction genre. This genre is fairly new, it exists since about the early 2000s. So what is this genre about? Imagine cult films, like the famous midnight movies from the 70s, Takashi Miike films, Tim Burton, maybe Quentin Tarantino – so cult films – as books. Really weird, sometimes disturbing, absurd, satiric storytelling is what bizarro fiction is all about. Now that, I believe, is really polarizing. Either at this point you are really interested or you already know you’ll hate those books. I started reading this book almost by accident. I had just gotten my Kindle and my boyfriend was looking through the available books and read this title out loud. We laughed about it, since it sounded like the worst book in the world. I told him to get the sample on my Kindle and read it to me while I was getting ready. And we were surprised how good it sounded! After finishing the sample, I knew I wanted to read the whole book! It was that good. The book is set in a post-apocalyptic world. After almost everything was destroyed by a nuclear war, the only remaining company took over and formed a new country – McDonaldland. The McDonalds regime is strikt, cooking is against the law, you have to eat three times a day and pray five times. The government controlls every aspect of life. But there is something terribly wrong with the people of McDonaldsland. The more sex the women have, the more they turn into giant wolves, and some man grow extra limbs. Of course, McDonaldsland cannot let this happen. So sex is against the law and women who broke the sex law and the male mutants are thrown out of McDonaldsland into the Wasteland, where the wolves live. I just loved the story. The setting is brilliant, it is twisted and weird and all I could wish for. The plot was action packed and fast paced, and there where a lot of fight scenes. This is definetly not a book for sensitive people. There is blood, gore and characters that you just learned to like are brutally killed. There also is sex and rape, as I said, not for sensitive people. Oh, on this note, don’t read the book right before you go to bed. You certainly don’t want to dream of the stuff that goes on in this book. I can tell you that. I really don’t want to give too much away, if you are interested, you really should experience it on your own. If you are into weird, disturbing, satiric cult films, I think you will love this book as much as I did. If you hate that kind of films, you certainly don’t want to touch this book with a ten-foot pole. 5/5 Nuff said.

  23. 5 out of 5

    April

    (Originally posted @ CSI:Librarian.) 4.5 Stars - Confession Time. I went into Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland feeling like it couldn't possibly in its wildest dreams remotely resemble the sort of thing I like to read only to wind up feeling like Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland was way more along the lines of I want to read than most of what I've been trying to force myself to finish reading lately. As unusual and occasionally obscene as this book was, it was also really, really enjoyable. (Originally posted @ CSI:Librarian.) 4.5 Stars - Confession Time. I went into Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland feeling like it couldn't possibly in its wildest dreams remotely resemble the sort of thing I like to read only to wind up feeling like Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland was way more along the lines of I want to read than most of what I've been trying to force myself to finish reading lately. As unusual and occasionally obscene as this book was, it was also really, really enjoyable. Everything about it was so cleverly conceived and so well done that it's sort of mind-boggling considering this is the story of man-eating wolf women vs. mutant men vs. the Hamburglar and Mayor McCheese. I really liked the ideas at play here particularly that of the McDonalds Corporation taking over, women becoming increasingly wolfish the more sexually active they are and the fearful way men in power seek to control everyone through food and religion only to ultimately combine the two. I feel like it's hard to say too much without giving a lot away or spoiling the way the storyline unfolds, but even if the summary or anything I've typed thus far seems like the makings of a ridiculous, epic joke, that isn't how it comes across in the book. Yes, everything that happened in Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland was decidedly bizarre and certainly unique, but somehow it all worked in a way that didn't feel accidental or merely fortuitious. Although very few characters outside of Daniel were all that likable, it was pretty easy to care about the vast majority of them. Their issues and relationships were a lot of fun to read about. I also really liked the general unpredictability of what was going to happen in regards to any single one of them. Some parts of Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland didn't sit as well with me as others, but nothing seemed to really be there simply to shock or dismay a potential reader. And just about all of it seemed to fit the mood of the novel and the character's personalities. The most significant of the complaints I could have is that no library anywhere near me seems to own a single book by Carlton Mellick III, which leaves me with no choice but to probably buy them since the odds of my co-workers ever looking at me the same way again should I request any of his titles is relatively low. In conclusion, incredibly good. If you enjoyed Yarn by Jon Armstrong or the occasional Grindhouse film, you owe it to yourself to get ahold of Warrior Wolf Woman of the Wasteland ASAP. Obviously it is not a one size fits all sort of book and if you're not sure how you feel about B-Grade anything, I wouldn't recomend this book to you. Particularly not if you plan on eating McDonalds any time soon.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Jonathan Cosgrove

    I've always been impressed from afar with how fast Carlton Mellick III writes his books and the success that he has managed to build up from that. (And this AMA I only recently read through made him even more endearing https://www.reddit.com/r/horror/comme... ) So I decided to read something of his and see if he was actually any good for all his speed and prolificacy. I think the answer is both yes and no. I can attest that this book is a super fun read and doesn't really slog in any way (What e I've always been impressed from afar with how fast Carlton Mellick III writes his books and the success that he has managed to build up from that. (And this AMA I only recently read through made him even more endearing https://www.reddit.com/r/horror/comme... ) So I decided to read something of his and see if he was actually any good for all his speed and prolificacy. I think the answer is both yes and no. I can attest that this book is a super fun read and doesn't really slog in any way (What else do you want from a book, I suppose?). And I wasn't sure initially if I could keep reading about McDonaldland or this weird possible future he was building but CMiii definitely knows how to keep the plot pulsing forward and there was always some interesting idea or theory or crazed notion spinning off the pages to keep me reading. I also fell in love with all the 'Warriors' because they are so badass. Definitely no shortage of cool ideas and his knowledge of tropes, how to use and misuse archetypes and even a particularly 'movie' like quality to the book as a whole made it kickass. The only complaint I have is that a number of times he'd lead the reader to a conclusion which the reader would figure out maybe a second or two beforehand and then the reader (me) would feel that smug inner glow readers like to feel for actually thinking about something and being correct.. And then there'd be a bunch of sentences where he'd flat out tell me what just occurred and what conclusions we should draw from this. A couple of times this actually became an interesting part of the texture as the conclusions we come to (seen from the perspective of the main character) turn out to be wrong. Did CM3 do this on purpose, perhaps? Well, in the beginning it irritated me, for sure, but you get used to it. I'll be reading more of his stuff in any case.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Craig

    In a world where civilization as we know it has fallen, and in its place, McDonald's has taken control of every facet of life -- from jobs to religion to what its citizens eat every day. The women are inexplicably being transformed into wolves with each orgasm, and men are sprouting extra limbs all over the place, and both are outcast from the main McSociety. The women hate the men, and vice versa. Read as this three-way struggle takes on loads of action leading to an epic climax. The main charac In a world where civilization as we know it has fallen, and in its place, McDonald's has taken control of every facet of life -- from jobs to religion to what its citizens eat every day. The women are inexplicably being transformed into wolves with each orgasm, and men are sprouting extra limbs all over the place, and both are outcast from the main McSociety. The women hate the men, and vice versa. Read as this three-way struggle takes on loads of action leading to an epic climax. The main character, Daniel Togg, is a four-armed mutant male who is ejected from McDonaldland and captured by the warrior wolf women, who were also outcasts from the city. Through Daniel, we get to explore the inner workings of McDonaldland, the wolf tribe, and the outcasted mutant men, who have also banded together. He has incredible insight and a unique perspective that makes him the perfect narrator. This book is a brilliant fun read. All of the characters are liked or disliked as they're meant to be, and some even gave me the creeps. It's simultaneously about oppression, suppression, corruption, segregation, sexual liberty, and overcoming differences to fight a common enemy. It is a completely well-rounded story with everything connected and no holes remaining. The main characters all go through hardships and changes that lead them to come out the other end with a completely new view. There is lots of sex and violence, but also plenty of emotion. There are few to no moments that feel too slow or awkward, and the pacing seems just right. It's a great book that is really easy to get through. Once you pick it up, you'll be reluctant to stop until the end.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Hailey

    If you are a fan of Carlton Mellick III, this is a must read. Daniel Togg is a man living on the edge in McDonaldland. A century after the fall of civilization, McDonald’s, the only remaining company takes over and creates its own Utopia, forcing the citizens to conform to the rules of The Blessed McDonald Corporation. Daniel follows in the footsteps of his grandfather and breaks the rules as much as he can without getting caught, such as, making illegal alcohol out of the food you are required t If you are a fan of Carlton Mellick III, this is a must read. Daniel Togg is a man living on the edge in McDonaldland. A century after the fall of civilization, McDonald’s, the only remaining company takes over and creates its own Utopia, forcing the citizens to conform to the rules of The Blessed McDonald Corporation. Daniel follows in the footsteps of his grandfather and breaks the rules as much as he can without getting caught, such as, making illegal alcohol out of the food you are required to eat three times a day, in his own private rebellion of the red and yellow state he lives in. Living in McDonaldland comes at price, the food is poisoning the citizens. After generations of eating the chemical filled food, the women turn into wolves with each orgasm and the men began growing extra limbs. Both are thrown out into the wasteland to fend for themselves, creating armies of Warrior Wolf Women and Mutant Men known as Outlanders, who are all avoiding the violent and giant wolves that reside in the woods. Togg, having been taught everything he knows about life from his Grandfather, who knew the world as it once was, makes new friends and enemies as he learns about the dangers and freedom of living in the wasteland. Under the surface of the often violent and disturbing world that CM3 has created, his characters come alive and fight against the oppression of a government that turned them into the so-called monsters they are. These characters experience love, betrayal, heartbreak, and self awareness that had been stifled during their time in McDonaldland.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Alexandra

    Well, they used to say that if you masturbate too much you will grow hair on your hands. We know this is nonsense, but in this book is true! You see, sex and orgasms in general, turn women into wolves. Well, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, is a great adventure. In the future, the society has collapsed. Everything as we know it has ended and it's gone. The kingdom of McDonaldland is the only thing. You eat from McDonalds, you work at McDonalds and you rent your house from McDonalds. A new fo Well, they used to say that if you masturbate too much you will grow hair on your hands. We know this is nonsense, but in this book is true! You see, sex and orgasms in general, turn women into wolves. Well, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, is a great adventure. In the future, the society has collapsed. Everything as we know it has ended and it's gone. The kingdom of McDonaldland is the only thing. You eat from McDonalds, you work at McDonalds and you rent your house from McDonalds. A new form of tyranny painted in yellow and red. Everything has to be perfect. Well, not quite. People are fat and die really yound because of the food they eat! In this twisted new reality, women turn gradually to wolves after having sex and babies and a new mutation threatens men: they grow multiple limbs. Either way, both of them are considered pariahs and they are ostracized from McDonaldland. I found that book the less bizarro book of Carlton Mellick III, allthough it's quite strange... Basically i thought it was a comment on today's cosumer society and it evolves into a battle of the sexes. While in McDonaldand men enslave women, in Wasteland is the other way round. And it's also a love story. A love story that reminded me the one from The Haunted Vagina. You can find happiness and love even if you don't end up with the one you really wanted...

  28. 4 out of 5

    Hatchet Mouth

    The only reason I subtracted a star is because the main character, Daniel, is rather passive. A lot of things happen to him, but I can recall less than a handful of times he actually steered the plot in a different direction, or actually took action or made a decision. This minor gripe aside, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland has now become my favorite Troma movie (although you won't find it in their film catalogue). It's about a barren landscape devoid of morals called McDonaldland. Men and wo The only reason I subtracted a star is because the main character, Daniel, is rather passive. A lot of things happen to him, but I can recall less than a handful of times he actually steered the plot in a different direction, or actually took action or made a decision. This minor gripe aside, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland has now become my favorite Troma movie (although you won't find it in their film catalogue). It's about a barren landscape devoid of morals called McDonaldland. Men and women mutate due to the abundance of chemicals in the food, all of which is made by McDonald's. In men, the mutation presents itself in extra arms and legs. In women, it's more gradual as they become more wolf-like each time they have sex, until they are eventually exiled from McDonaldland into the wild to fend for themselves. The wolf women have formed their own community outside the gates of McDonaldland, one where they claim the male exiles for little more than food or sex in an astonishing reversal of gender roles. Perhaps what's most frightening is the fact that McDonaldland reminded me of modern day America and its 'traditional values'.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Victor Merling

    What if after the end of the world, Mc Donalds (the one with the clown and the burgers) was the corporation left standing and it became the government? People would live in cities run by fast food chain, eat their food, work for them, obey their rules and be punished by them for their infractions. From that point on the book explores the "natural" (i.e. bizarro logic is at work) consequences of that situation. Eating all that unhealthy and genetically modified food, must have some of detrimental What if after the end of the world, Mc Donalds (the one with the clown and the burgers) was the corporation left standing and it became the government? People would live in cities run by fast food chain, eat their food, work for them, obey their rules and be punished by them for their infractions. From that point on the book explores the "natural" (i.e. bizarro logic is at work) consequences of that situation. Eating all that unhealthy and genetically modified food, must have some of detrimental effects on the population, right? But the clown industries of course do their best to keep their costumers/citizens happy even if they have to sweep the undesirables under the table. Even though it's a bizarro book it never tries to be too edgy for its own good, or too cool or outrageous and that is good writing. Now, don't get me wrong, it is edgy, cool and outrageous, but it never feel like it's trying too hard. So many bizarro writers seem to fail at exactly that aspect of storytelling but CM3 shows why he is the best and famous writer of the genre.

  30. 4 out of 5

    natercopia

    I should not be surprise by how my SHOCK level gets tamer each time I read Mellick's books. It's not that I've not been expose to the grossest, most yuckiest book by Mellick (go read Apeshit) but this I felt that my paranoia for today's food culture - FAST FOOD is growing. Suddenly, i don't feel like having Macdonald's cheeseburger right now. The way how people are being screwed over just by eating the only kind of food that's available in McDonaldland is horrifying. Compared to the werewolves f I should not be surprise by how my SHOCK level gets tamer each time I read Mellick's books. It's not that I've not been expose to the grossest, most yuckiest book by Mellick (go read Apeshit) but this I felt that my paranoia for today's food culture - FAST FOOD is growing. Suddenly, i don't feel like having Macdonald's cheeseburger right now. The way how people are being screwed over just by eating the only kind of food that's available in McDonaldland is horrifying. Compared to the werewolves fiction we have today, Mellick also gave an interesting twist without making it pretty at all. There was romance without long exaggerated sappy scenes, good battle scenes, interesting backstory to each groups and dark motives by the outlanders. Note to self: I am going to ration my Mellick reads now (by months?) so that when I read one, I want to be SHOCK again by his crazy ideas.

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