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Teaching Kids to Think: Raising Confident, Independent, and Thoughtful Children in an Age of Instant Gratification

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Why Do Kids These Days Expect Everything to be Given to Them? Today's kids don't know how to read a map. They can Google the answer to any question at lightning speed. If a teen forgets his homework, a quick call to mom or dad has it hand-delivered in minutes. Fueled by the rapid pace of technology, the Instant Gratification Generation not only expects immediate solutio Why Do Kids These Days Expect Everything to be Given to Them? Today's kids don't know how to read a map. They can Google the answer to any question at lightning speed. If a teen forgets his homework, a quick call to mom or dad has it hand-delivered in minutes. Fueled by the rapid pace of technology, the Instant Gratification Generation not only expects immediate solutions to problems—they're more dependent than ever on adults. Today's kids are being denied opportunities to make mistakes, and more importantly, to learn from them. They are being taught not to think.In Teaching Kids to Think, Dr. Darlene Sweetland and Dr. Ron Stolberg offer insight into the social, emotional, and neurological challenges unique to this generation. They identify the five parent traps that cause adults to unknowingly increase their children's need for instant gratification, and offer practical tips and easy-to-implement solutions to address topics relevant to children of all ages.A must-read for parents and educators, Teaching Kids to Think will help you understand where this sense of entitlement comes from—and how to turn it around in order to raise children who are confident, independent, and thoughtful.


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Why Do Kids These Days Expect Everything to be Given to Them? Today's kids don't know how to read a map. They can Google the answer to any question at lightning speed. If a teen forgets his homework, a quick call to mom or dad has it hand-delivered in minutes. Fueled by the rapid pace of technology, the Instant Gratification Generation not only expects immediate solutio Why Do Kids These Days Expect Everything to be Given to Them? Today's kids don't know how to read a map. They can Google the answer to any question at lightning speed. If a teen forgets his homework, a quick call to mom or dad has it hand-delivered in minutes. Fueled by the rapid pace of technology, the Instant Gratification Generation not only expects immediate solutions to problems—they're more dependent than ever on adults. Today's kids are being denied opportunities to make mistakes, and more importantly, to learn from them. They are being taught not to think.In Teaching Kids to Think, Dr. Darlene Sweetland and Dr. Ron Stolberg offer insight into the social, emotional, and neurological challenges unique to this generation. They identify the five parent traps that cause adults to unknowingly increase their children's need for instant gratification, and offer practical tips and easy-to-implement solutions to address topics relevant to children of all ages.A must-read for parents and educators, Teaching Kids to Think will help you understand where this sense of entitlement comes from—and how to turn it around in order to raise children who are confident, independent, and thoughtful.

30 review for Teaching Kids to Think: Raising Confident, Independent, and Thoughtful Children in an Age of Instant Gratification

  1. 4 out of 5

    Online Eccentric Librarian

    More reviews (and no fluff) on the blog http://surrealtalvi.wordpress.com/ Teaching Kids to Think is an intelligently written answer to the problem of the IGG - Instant Gratification Generation of children. The authors have clearly thought out not only the advice they will give but also the presentation of it; it makes the book easy to use but also reference again as kids age. Most interesting is a quick questionnaire in the beginning; I think many parents will identify with the mistakes the More reviews (and no fluff) on the blog http://surrealtalvi.wordpress.com/ Teaching Kids to Think is an intelligently written answer to the problem of the IGG - Instant Gratification Generation of children. The authors have clearly thought out not only the advice they will give but also the presentation of it; it makes the book easy to use but also reference again as kids age. Most interesting is a quick questionnaire in the beginning; I think many parents will identify with the mistakes they are making as evidenced by the answers. The book breaks down as follows: Chapter 1: Parent traps; Chapter 2: Missed opportunities when parents rescue their children; Chapter 3: Make no mistake about it: everyone makes mistakes; Chapter 4: Understanding developmental stages; Chapter 5: Take advantage of critical periods of brain development; Chapter 6: Ivy league or bust: are we providing children what they really need to succeed?; Chapter 7: The phones might be smart but what about us?; Chapter 8: The trouble with technology: video games, social networking, and television; Chapter 9: Athletics provides more than just fun; Chapter 10: Why drugs and alcohol are so appealing; Chapter 11: Will you child be ready to launch?; Chapter 12: Parents have grown accustomed to instant gratification, too; Chapter 13: Lessons learned. As can be seen from the list above, quite a few topics are covered. The tone is conversational and the information presented very accessible and easy to digest. Each chapter contains an introduction to an issue and usually includes real life examples from the authors' practices. They then discuss the problems in depth. At the end of each chapter, the points are summarized at the end with a section called "Putting It All Together." That section breaks down by The Issue, The Trap, and The Alternative The authors identify five traps that affect parents today: The rescue trap (parents rescue their children from their problems); The hurried trap (parents meet their children's needs quickly, not requiring them to be patient and wait); The pressure trap (parents push children forward too fast); The giving trap (parents give children something without them earning it); and The guilt trap (parents react impulsively because they feel guilty or unsure). These are discussed throughout the book and the consequences of falling into these traps provide the basis for many of the chapters. What I like about the book is that it doesn't talk down to parents or try to use logic to trump the emotional reasons why helicopter parenting is so prevalent. Rather, the authors are quick to point out why parents do the things they do but also gently lead them toward a firmer solution to parenting. More than simply presenting tips and lambasting poor parenting, there is the knowledge of why parents are failing and that is used to show a better way. There is very good information in here and I especially appreciate the time and care that has gone into the book. It is an easy read but also an important one. There's no lecturing of parents but the authors are appropriately stern on the importance of not helicoptering our kids into helplessness. Reviewed from an advance reader copy provided by the publisher.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Nabeel Hassan

    Teaching kids to think, is a very important skill we need it in this time with this generation how open his eyes with vary fast movement in everything we need to tech our kids to to think in everything, by applying the strategies in this book we can give our kids the initial skill then will use it in future in their life, all what we need as a parents is to think in our thoughts that will effect in all our kids developments, the traps mentioned in this books we can adjust our feeling and thought Teaching kids to think, is a very important skill we need it in this time with this generation how open his eyes with vary fast movement in everything we need to tech our kids to to think in everything, by applying the strategies in this book we can give our kids the initial skill then will use it in future in their life, all what we need as a parents is to think in our thoughts that will effect in all our kids developments, the traps mentioned in this books we can adjust our feeling and thoughts that can destroy our kids developments in each stage of the life. It's really a good book for parents to understand how to learn from our mistakes in the parenting steps.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Tiffany

    Review Also Posted on my blog: http://www.talkwordy2me.blogspot.com Teaching Kids to Think is an interesting read about the current generation of kids who seem to be used to getting everything instantly. The book is geared toward parents who want their children to grow up and become confident, independent and thoughtful adults in a time where children are used to relying on their parents and the technology around them. The book strives to show parents ways to guide their children to develop the s Review Also Posted on my blog: http://www.talkwordy2me.blogspot.com Teaching Kids to Think is an interesting read about the current generation of kids who seem to be used to getting everything instantly. The book is geared toward parents who want their children to grow up and become confident, independent and thoughtful adults in a time where children are used to relying on their parents and the technology around them. The book strives to show parents ways to guide their children to develop the skills to be able to plan, organize, problem solve and make their own decisions. The book is laid out very well and contains an introduction and the following chapters: 1. The Parent Traps: Do you take the Bait: 2. Missed Opportunities When Parents Rescue Their Children 3. Make No Mistake About It: Everyone Makes Mistakes 4. Understanding Developmental Stages 5. Take Advantage of the Critical Periods of Brain Development 6. Ivy League or Bust: Are We Providing Children What They Really Need? 7. The Phones Might Be Smart, But What About Us? 8. The Trouble With Technology: Video Games, Social Networking & TV 9. Athletics Provide More Thank Just Fun 10. Why Drugs And Alcohol Are So Appealing 11. Will Your Child Be Ready To Launch? 12. Parents Have Grown Accustomed to Instant Gratification, Too 13. Lessons Learned This book really does cover a multitude of different subjects that sneak into every parents life at some point. Sweetland and Stolberg seemed to offer plenty of examples they have seen in their offices in each chapter. There are also several several lists included to allow parents to identify if they are exhibiting any undesirable behaviors that could be contributing to the problem. Chapters are also ended with a Putting It All Together section that includes an overview of The Issue, The Trap your falling into, and The Alternative which states different ways to handle the issue. The last chapter of the book entitled Lessons Learned is a very brief recap of the book and just summarized the ideas of the book. There were plenty of things I liked about this book. What I enjoyed the most about this was that it's not preachy at all. In fact this book is written by parents who admit in the Introduction that they have fallen into these traps plenty themselves and just want to help other parents avoid them. I really enjoyed that the book wasn't only aimed at one age group but instead offered not only examples of different ages but also suggestions for each. So many of these traps are easy to fall into and don't seem like a big deal at the time. I honestly haven't ever thought about what my son is missing by me helping him, I instead was only thinking of how I was helping. This book really opened my eyes to the different ways helping can really hurt in the long run. As parents it's important to think of the far reaching implications of our actions. I liked the list of things teachers sent in regarding what traits students will need to be successful adults. There were several ideas I found in the book that I want to implement in my home such as: "Fun Friday" - A day designated to no housework etc so you can play games, plan a sleep over etc so, as a working mom, your child can plan for a specific day instead of 'maybe later' or 'someday'. I am also going to try observing a situation my son is in for at least 5 to 10 seconds for jumping in to help. With play dates and social situations I'm going to help set parameters but let my son take control. There were also some things that I've already put in place so I was glad to see them on the "to-do" side of this book lol. There were also a few things that didn't apply to me because they were not meant for children with special needs - this book was definitely written with neurotypical kids in mind. Really the only thing that I would have liked to have seen was any talk at all about non-neurotypical kids. More and more children are being diagnosed with Autism each year and I feel like this book missed a huge section of the population(including my child). A wonderful read and I'm beyond glad that I got to read it. This ARC was kindly provided to me by NetGalley for my honest review.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Beyond the Pages

    This was a thoroughly done work, in my opinion. I absolutely loved it. The conversational tone, real life vignettes, and encouraging truths told quite the story. As I read the words of the authors, I could not help but think, " That's me!" or "That sounds like my children." Upon reading, studying through this book, I was educated, convicted and empowered. All I know is that I must have the hard copy of this book. This was a thoroughly done work, in my opinion. I absolutely loved it. The conversational tone, real life vignettes, and encouraging truths told quite the story. As I read the words of the authors, I could not help but think, " That's me!" or "That sounds like my children." Upon reading, studying through this book, I was educated, convicted and empowered. All I know is that I must have the hard copy of this book.

  5. 5 out of 5

    jbgbookgirl

    This is a must read for parents and educators, but mostly parents. The advice is practical, current and brilliant. I will be referencing this book time and time again as my children keep growing. It's fantastic. This is a must read for parents and educators, but mostly parents. The advice is practical, current and brilliant. I will be referencing this book time and time again as my children keep growing. It's fantastic.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Sylvia McIvers

    Everyone should read this book. Google is great, and cell phones are great, and instant everything is great, so where's the catch? Loss of persistence and perseverance. Not wanting to put time into learning something hard. Not wanting to fail, and thinking that insta-win is the only non-failing option. Not learning how to looking for solutions, because there's an app for that. Not learning self-reliance, because of never taking the first baby-steps in that direction. OK, so Kids These Days [tm] has a Everyone should read this book. Google is great, and cell phones are great, and instant everything is great, so where's the catch? Loss of persistence and perseverance. Not wanting to put time into learning something hard. Not wanting to fail, and thinking that insta-win is the only non-failing option. Not learning how to looking for solutions, because there's an app for that. Not learning self-reliance, because of never taking the first baby-steps in that direction. OK, so Kids These Days [tm] has a new varient, now what can parents do about it? Actually, I recommend this book to teens as well. They might recognize their family lives, and think twice.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Liliana Motricala

    4.5 of 5 Helpful, actual and educational. I liked the book, it covers a very interesting subject, namely the phenomenon of instant gratification affecting nowadays generation. The authors present a numbers of traps that we, as parents, use to fall in: rescue trap, hurry trap, pression trap, giving trap and guilt trap. Each trap is well described with plenty of examples and possible solutions. At the end of every chapter there is a list of questions to ask yourself in order to identify if you are a 4.5 of 5 Helpful, actual and educational. I liked the book, it covers a very interesting subject, namely the phenomenon of instant gratification affecting nowadays generation. The authors present a numbers of traps that we, as parents, use to fall in: rescue trap, hurry trap, pression trap, giving trap and guilt trap. Each trap is well described with plenty of examples and possible solutions. At the end of every chapter there is a list of questions to ask yourself in order to identify if you are already in this trap and if yes, the authors will give you alternatives and helpful suggestions. The ages covered are from infancy till young adulthood.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Lilith Day

    I am a teacher. I often deal with situations that are uncomfortable. This includes overprotective parents, detached parents, and parents who give the child everything because they are their child. However, when parents do this out of love, it can get in the way of a child's growth and education. This book is a great way to help find balance. According to this book, many parents who over cannot find a balance in their parenting ways, not only cause problems in the classroom, but they can lead to I am a teacher. I often deal with situations that are uncomfortable. This includes overprotective parents, detached parents, and parents who give the child everything because they are their child. However, when parents do this out of love, it can get in the way of a child's growth and education. This book is a great way to help find balance. According to this book, many parents who over cannot find a balance in their parenting ways, not only cause problems in the classroom, but they can lead to life skills being lost. This book spends many chapters going over some of these life skills while providing situations in which failing and learning from mistakes can be a real learning curve. What I liked about this book is there were real stories throughout. I have read many books and it was full of facts, that I often got lost from the real point. Some of the stories in the book I have experienced myself and I was able to learn from the lesson. Another plus was some examples provided. While not every example is relevant to everyone, by just reading them, we can learn how to make them our own. The real learning I received from this book, was an overview of the issues our children face. Not every issue is applicable for every parent or educator, but when you can internalize the problems, you can help children overcome them. For me, this served two purposes. 1. I was able to reflect on my personal life and examine my teaching. 2. I have the knowledge needed to talk to parents in these situations. I am very happy to have read this book. For me, this is a new addition to my educational library. I received this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are mine and were in no way influenced by outside sources. I am a professional blogger at Little Lady Plays

  9. 5 out of 5

    Irina Roșca

    I found the book useful for parents and people working with kids, as it had a lot of practical tips and some really nice arguments regarding the technology use and also about building a strong and trustful relationship to our children. The book has also overall a simple and clear text. Strong recommendation for all who are in search of a good parenting book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jason Keisling

    I saw this near the top of a parenting list on goodreads and it seemed like a perfect book to peruse. Raising confident, independent, thoughtful children? Sounds great. There is some good information in this book. It can basically be summed up with “step away and let your kids do things on their own.” There you go, I saved you 270 pages. Unfortunately a large portion of this book comes across as a baby boomer complaining about millennials, complete with complaints about participation trophies an I saw this near the top of a parenting list on goodreads and it seemed like a perfect book to peruse. Raising confident, independent, thoughtful children? Sounds great. There is some good information in this book. It can basically be summed up with “step away and let your kids do things on their own.” There you go, I saved you 270 pages. Unfortunately a large portion of this book comes across as a baby boomer complaining about millennials, complete with complaints about participation trophies and daydreaming about the good ole days when kids were out until the streetlights turned off. So for every useful tip in this book, there’s an equal amount of drivel that you could also find shared on Facebook by your opinionated uncle, and with similar sources and research to back up claims (very skimpy citations at the end). So while some of this may be useful, you can probably find better books on the topic.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Rachel Martin

    This is a useful and thought provoking read for parents, and teachers too. Each chapter contains stories or case studies from the authors' years of work in clinical psychology alongside discussion of psychological theories or approaches and specific, practical advice. Issues covered range from the traps of parenting to anxiety about making choices, not taking responsibility for learning etc. I found the book reinforced many or my own parenting decisions, while also challenging me to examine what I This is a useful and thought provoking read for parents, and teachers too. Each chapter contains stories or case studies from the authors' years of work in clinical psychology alongside discussion of psychological theories or approaches and specific, practical advice. Issues covered range from the traps of parenting to anxiety about making choices, not taking responsibility for learning etc. I found the book reinforced many or my own parenting decisions, while also challenging me to examine what I do in a few cases. It also gave me insight into the motivations of some of my pupils, and their parents. Teaching kids to think is written in a straightforward and engaging manner, so is an easy read, but this doesn't mean the advice is simple. I received a free digital copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Gretchen

    Overall, a timely book that can be summed up with the one line: "Step back and let your kid figure it out on their own." It was incredibly repetitive and probably could have been cut in half. I found myself skipping chunks because the age range didn't pertain to my kids. Despite that the authors delve into various situations that parents can apply the advice: school, sports, social interactions. There's nothing new in the book you haven't heard before and it all seems rather like common sense. Y Overall, a timely book that can be summed up with the one line: "Step back and let your kid figure it out on their own." It was incredibly repetitive and probably could have been cut in half. I found myself skipping chunks because the age range didn't pertain to my kids. Despite that the authors delve into various situations that parents can apply the advice: school, sports, social interactions. There's nothing new in the book you haven't heard before and it all seems rather like common sense. Yet, I would recommend this one simply because, in my experience and myself included, most parents fall easily into the trap of rescuing their kids. I think this one will only get more relevant as time goes on and technology continues to advance.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Laura Lou

    It's really scary how addicted our children have become to their phones, tablets and gaming systems to the point that they really don't know how to think and solve simple dilemmas in their every day lives. And, sadly, parents are no better and I'm horrified at how often I see people checking their phones while driving. NOTHING can ever be that important that it can't wait until you get to work, home, or wherever it is you're driving to. I felt better when I realized that I haven't been raising m It's really scary how addicted our children have become to their phones, tablets and gaming systems to the point that they really don't know how to think and solve simple dilemmas in their every day lives. And, sadly, parents are no better and I'm horrified at how often I see people checking their phones while driving. NOTHING can ever be that important that it can't wait until you get to work, home, or wherever it is you're driving to. I felt better when I realized that I haven't been raising my kids to just live for their phones and other electronic devices. I allow my twin boys to play on their Playstation only once a week when I work in the evening, and then only for a couple of hours. They are almost twelve, and don't own phones yet. My older children are wonderful about not being attached to their phones, and one of my daughters even deleted her Facebook account as she didn't like it. Kids need to learn how to figure things out without having to immediately google something for an answer. And they need to learn from mistakes and not have us as parents solving problems for them. And, parents need to set a better example, too, by not staring at their phones and checking their social media every few minutes! Do I sound preachy here? I don't mean to, honestly. We just need to learn how to set limits and be aware of how much screen time our kids are getting. This was a really interesting book and I highly recommend it to parents who are looking for some sound advice about dealing with today's kids in a technology driven world.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Abby

    I won't say that this book didn't give me some good ideas and that it wouldn't be good for some parents who are prone to taking on their children's responsibilities or trying to get special treatment for their kids. I have never been a person who finds it hard to watch a child struggle, in fact I have always been one to encourage it for the exact reasons this book emphasizes, and hoped the book would provide me with more fresh information. It ended up being very repetitive, which again would pro I won't say that this book didn't give me some good ideas and that it wouldn't be good for some parents who are prone to taking on their children's responsibilities or trying to get special treatment for their kids. I have never been a person who finds it hard to watch a child struggle, in fact I have always been one to encourage it for the exact reasons this book emphasizes, and hoped the book would provide me with more fresh information. It ended up being very repetitive, which again would probably be good for some but not someone who already understands these concepts and champions them. There are definitely some people I know who I wish I could just shine these words at with giant, neon letters, over and over again, so I get it. Working as family counselors for decades and having to listen to wishy-washy people talk about their kids disrespecting them and shirking responsibilities when they have been enabling it their entire lives probably makes one accustomed to repeating oneself. The book covers all ages of kids, so parents of toddlers through even college students will find something helpful, but it primarily focuses on middle school and high school students.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Sara Burriesci

    This book came out shortly before "How to Raise an Adult," and makes the same major point: ultimately we hamstring our children by not letting them do things for themselves and make their own mistakes. I think that this book, which was written by a practicing child psychologist and a practicing family therapist, offers more practical advice and less navel gazing than "How to Raise an Adult," although I liked that book too. Among the practical tips offered here: make your children wait for things This book came out shortly before "How to Raise an Adult," and makes the same major point: ultimately we hamstring our children by not letting them do things for themselves and make their own mistakes. I think that this book, which was written by a practicing child psychologist and a practicing family therapist, offers more practical advice and less navel gazing than "How to Raise an Adult," although I liked that book too. Among the practical tips offered here: make your children wait for things, starting when they are toddlers; instead of telling them what to do when they ask you for the solution to a problem, ask them what they think they should do; when they do make a mistake and suffer its consequences, ask them what they could do differently next time. The book gives specific examples for implementing these strategies in relation to technology use, sports participation, and schoolwork.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Nilesh Muley

    Its a fact that we are living in a Instant gratification world & this book comes handy to understand this new fast pace life of ours with point wise ideas on how to identify & avoid these gratification hacks in a very structured manner. Every chapter ends with three paragraphs of The Issue, The Trap & The Alternative. This gives a very clear summary / picture. You will surely find yourself somewhere in the book and it will push you to think aback. Only one thing which I felt due to which I reduc Its a fact that we are living in a Instant gratification world & this book comes handy to understand this new fast pace life of ours with point wise ideas on how to identify & avoid these gratification hacks in a very structured manner. Every chapter ends with three paragraphs of The Issue, The Trap & The Alternative. This gives a very clear summary / picture. You will surely find yourself somewhere in the book and it will push you to think aback. Only one thing which I felt due to which I reduced 1 star in rating - same topics (book title or mistakes of parents, instant giving, rescuing etc) are repeated again & again in each chapter, also many times in same chapter. Perhaps author has to imbibe in your mind that particular concepts. If you can smartly avoid, then its a fantastic learning book. Its worth putting time to read this book, a must read!

  17. 5 out of 5

    Robert Postill

    I read this book hoping for something different than I got but what I got was kind of handy. This book is really about raising children who correctly judge risk and how you deal with that risk. It's a book that talks about respect and resilience a deal (sometimes in oblique terms) and moves along at a reasonable pace through the various stages of childhood. You can see the authors and the social situations are American and so I wonder if this book would appeal to say Singaporean or Chinese parent I read this book hoping for something different than I got but what I got was kind of handy. This book is really about raising children who correctly judge risk and how you deal with that risk. It's a book that talks about respect and resilience a deal (sometimes in oblique terms) and moves along at a reasonable pace through the various stages of childhood. You can see the authors and the social situations are American and so I wonder if this book would appeal to say Singaporean or Chinese parents in the same way. Having said that Australia is not so far culturally from America so the book did make me think a fair bit about my own parenting approach. All-in-all a decent read thought-provoking read.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Alina Tache

    While the point they make is important, I feel like it could have been expressed more succinctly. I perceived their tone as superior and when they tried to give certain details I realized they are NOT as well-versed in how to approach teens as I would have expected. And they lack detailed knowledge about the tech teens use today, which is a great problem when working with children and teens. Anyway, the idea is to let your child make mistakes early so the learn to avoid consequences when those c While the point they make is important, I feel like it could have been expressed more succinctly. I perceived their tone as superior and when they tried to give certain details I realized they are NOT as well-versed in how to approach teens as I would have expected. And they lack detailed knowledge about the tech teens use today, which is a great problem when working with children and teens. Anyway, the idea is to let your child make mistakes early so the learn to avoid consequences when those consequences are still small. That's it. That's the whole point.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Cath

    Most of the things in here felt like common sense. Except one. My impatience with my kids- my seemingly unending sense of urgency and wanting to get things done NOW and checked off our to-do list is enabling an instant gratification mindset. Oops. Breathe. Allow more time for experience and mistakes. Breathe. And repeat again. Good thing I have a whole whack of mindfulness books on my must read list. ;)

  20. 5 out of 5

    Erin Burnette

    I read this book, hoping it would have some teaching strategies to use in the classroom, but it is geared more for parents. It had some good strategies for helping get your kids to think about their actions and how to break them of the need for instant gratification. The authors detail real scenarios they have encountered and how they helped both the parents and children in those scenarios see a better way of dealing with the situation.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Velayudhan

    I found the message of the book useful. Children need to have opportunities to develop independence, confidence and patience for delayed gratification. The book gives many suggestions and examples on how to do this. Reading the book showed me the traps I had fallen into: situations where I got the job done but losing the opportunity to develop the necessary life skills in my child.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Billie Rossman

    Learned a lot that will be helpful in teaching. Good book. Helpful ideas. Lot of good tips. I really appreciated the stories at the beginning of each chapter. I also like that it gives the adults Grace to make mistakes.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Michelle

    I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a child(ren) under 18 years of age;and, for anyone who works with children. I made so many notes and learned so much. There are a few things I will be implementing while teaching my class.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Toffee Mama

    This book was a slog to get through. I'm sure that there are parents who need to hear the information, but it seemed really basic and repetitive to me. It pretty much all boiled down to, "Make your kids wait for and earn things for themselves." I expected more. This book was a slog to get through. I'm sure that there are parents who need to hear the information, but it seemed really basic and repetitive to me. It pretty much all boiled down to, "Make your kids wait for and earn things for themselves." I expected more.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Sonu

    I am not a fan of parenting book. But thay defiantly gives you ideas to improve. This book is mostly about you should not interfere with kids learning, just guide them. I agree with few things not all. But overall was helpful book.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Katie

    This book gave some practical examples on how to help your kids. I loved how applicable the book is to all age groups. I will definitely be reading this each year.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Sara

    Interesting look at instant gratification and its impact on kids. Written more for parents than educators.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Rachel

    School's "Teen 101" class recommends this book. School's "Teen 101" class recommends this book.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Rachele

    Gave me a lot of good things to think about.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Aria

    Overall a quick and nice read. The author are two Ph.D.s and there are many case studies to share. The authors emphasize a lot while today’s technology enables the kids (and parents) convenient life, it also makes it easy to fall into the trap of ‘instant gratification’. Today people are so used to instant answers by online search, they tend to become irritated easily when the problems become complicated which needs more time and skills to solve and requires critical thinking. The ease of online Overall a quick and nice read. The author are two Ph.D.s and there are many case studies to share. The authors emphasize a lot while today’s technology enables the kids (and parents) convenient life, it also makes it easy to fall into the trap of ‘instant gratification’. Today people are so used to instant answers by online search, they tend to become irritated easily when the problems become complicated which needs more time and skills to solve and requires critical thinking. The ease of online social network make the kids expect a responsive message back in seconds. If the other party fails to respond instantly, they tend to fall into a misunderstanding trap easily. Not to mention the important face-to-face communication skill which is missed to get developed in an all messaging system. In addition, parents nowadays tend to involve (helicopter) more in kids’ education life and they tend to fall into the trap of ‘instant rescue’. For example, parents tend to blame teacher for kids' lower grade if kids complain about the teacher’s teaching style, fight for a better position for their kids in sports team even though they are not fit for it, etc. Correspondingly, kids get so used to look upon their parents to solve the problem for them, instead of analyzing the problem itself, confronting the necessary people, negotiate, and accept the reality. Those are valuable life skills that need to be practiced times and times again during their growth. As parents, we do not want to miss those opportunities to let the kids grow. We want to create more chances for our kids to think independently, to be responsible for their own behavior, and learn to solve problems by themselves.

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