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How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved: Describes 8 Types of Dangerous Men, Gives Defense Strategies and a Red Alert Checklist for Each, and

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This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved. Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim's stories that tell how they came i This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved. Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim's stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of Dangerous Man. Brown explains women's innate "red flag" systems -- how they work to signal impending danger, and why many women learn to ignore them. With red flags in hand, Brown then guides readers through their own personal experiences to develop a personalized "Do Not Date" list. With these tools, Brown shows women how they can spot and avoid patterns of engagement with Dangerous Men.


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This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved. Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim's stories that tell how they came i This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved. Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim's stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of Dangerous Man. Brown explains women's innate "red flag" systems -- how they work to signal impending danger, and why many women learn to ignore them. With red flags in hand, Brown then guides readers through their own personal experiences to develop a personalized "Do Not Date" list. With these tools, Brown shows women how they can spot and avoid patterns of engagement with Dangerous Men.

30 review for How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved: Describes 8 Types of Dangerous Men, Gives Defense Strategies and a Red Alert Checklist for Each, and

  1. 4 out of 5

    Claudia Moscovici

    Sandra L. Brown's How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved (Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers, 2005) is a must-read for all women before, during or after being involved with a dangerous man. This book lays out an entire typology of eight dangerous personality disorders. Individuals can suffer from several personality disorders at once. No love, therapy or medication can significantly change for the better a person who has a personality disorder. Sandra L. Brown, M.A. explains that p Sandra L. Brown's How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved (Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers, 2005) is a must-read for all women before, during or after being involved with a dangerous man. This book lays out an entire typology of eight dangerous personality disorders. Individuals can suffer from several personality disorders at once. No love, therapy or medication can significantly change for the better a person who has a personality disorder. Sandra L. Brown, M.A. explains that personality disorders are traits deeply embedded in people's character: some they're born with; others they acquire through their upbringing, experiences and education during childhood. But the bottom line remains that individuals suffering from personality disorders--such as psychopathy, narcissism, or borderline personality disorder--have constitutive emotional and moral deficiencies that can't be changed or fixed by anyone or anything during adulthood. Relationships with such disordered individuals will necessarily doom their partners to a life of unhappiness and pain. You may think that you know how to recognize dangerous people without reading psychology books, but the truth of the matter is that you probably don't. Unless you're trained as a therapist, psychologist or psychoanalyst--or have researched personality disorders thoroughly-- you're not likely to be educated in abnormal psychology. Moreover, the information we're exposed to in the media or on popular shows is sometimes misleading and always very incomplete. For instance, even well-intentioned, helpful and educational shows about drug addiction, like Intervention, lead us to believe that drug addicts would be psychologically healthy individuals, if only they could surmount their particular addiction with the proper support from loved ones and drug rehabilitation centers. How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved shows that this is not necessarily true. Very often, drug abuse masks--and is a symptom of--a more deep-seated psychological disorder which leads to poor impulse control, like psychopathy or borderline personality disorder. To offer another example: popular T.V. shows lead us to believe, or at least hope, that wife abusers can be helped in therapy and anger management classes. How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved indicates that's also often false. Domestic abuse usually indicates the personality of a controlling individual, who needs to be top dog in a relationship. Such an individual commonly asserts his dominance through the emotional and/or physical abuse of those close to him. A man whose personality is shaped by the need for dominance, which is often manifested through aggression, isn't likely to be helped by couples' therapy or anger management classes. The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to get away from him. Addressing yet another common popular misconception, How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved explains that serial killers are not the only or even the most common types of psychopaths. In fact, most psychopaths do not engage in criminal activities (or at least aren't caught and punished for them). They're extremely charming individuals whose main traits--charisma, the need for dominance, and glib, pathological lying--enables them to play games of manipulation and deceit with others. Some psychopaths engage in domestic violence, but even those who don't can be just as psychologically and emotionally harmful as those who do. Rather than spending your money on how-to books that teach you how to work at improving pathological relationships, you'd be much better served by reading this book. Sandra L. Brown, M.A. explains clearly each type of dangerous man: the permanent clinger; the parental seeker; the emotionally unavailable man; the man with the hidden life; the mentally ill man; the addict; the abusive or violent man, and, the most dangerous of all, the psychopath. She describes the symptoms of each personality disorder and the pattern of behavior of those suffering from them. She also goes over the early red flags of these disorders, which aren't necessarily obvious in the beginning stages of a relationship. Many of the men suffering from personality disorders are very skilled at the art of camouflage and deception. Nothing you're likely to be exposed to in the media or read in your typical self-help book will give you the indispensable information you will find in How To Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved. Reading this book can save you years of heartache and maybe even your life. For more information about personality disorders and recovering from toxic relationships, please visit Sandra L. Brown's website, saferelationshipmagazine.com. Claudia Moscovici, Notablewriters.com

  2. 4 out of 5

    Kate Mcphail

    Every woman should read this, frfr.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Amanda

    I read the book in German and I have to say that neither the title nor the cover do it justice. This is a serious work of psychology that every woman should read. I had always wondered why so many women close to me got involved with men that were obviously not good for them. And we are talking about intelligent and very educated women. It is appalling when you see a woman you care about, with a lot of potential, breaking down for a worthless man. But it happens all the time. What I like the most I read the book in German and I have to say that neither the title nor the cover do it justice. This is a serious work of psychology that every woman should read. I had always wondered why so many women close to me got involved with men that were obviously not good for them. And we are talking about intelligent and very educated women. It is appalling when you see a woman you care about, with a lot of potential, breaking down for a worthless man. But it happens all the time. What I like the most about the book is that it actually puts the responsability on the woman. In this era of irrational feminism and infantilization of women it is refreshing to hear someone telling us that we women are actually sensible beings able to control who we choose to let into our lives.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Eletta0925 Fouche

    I have the companion book to this workbook as well as the workbook itself. I figured with the guys I was seeing I needed this book. And boy did I. Although I have an affinity for the emotionally unavailable. Most have been combination types. This book helped me realize that I just dont date well and so I just dont date. So there you go. But I have hope. A healthy relationship is out there for me. I plan to have it thanks to Sandra Brown!!!

  5. 4 out of 5

    Kris

    Pathological Categories of Dangerous Men: 1. Permanent Clinger 2. Parental Seeker 3. Emotionally Unavailable Man 4. Man with the Hidden Life 5. Mentally Ill Man 6. The Addict 7. Abusive or Violent Man 8. Emotional Predator

  6. 5 out of 5

    Alecia

    This book explains why women choose dangerous men, from minimizing their poor behaviors, to glamorizing treating women badly, to accepting the media's portrayal that dangerous men are fun. She talks about how definitions have been altered to make dangerous men sound appealing rather than harmful. She talks about the red flags and how we see the red flags, but we have been conditioned to ignore them. We have physical symptoms such as anxiety, an upset stomach or TMJ. We have an intuition that some This book explains why women choose dangerous men, from minimizing their poor behaviors, to glamorizing treating women badly, to accepting the media's portrayal that dangerous men are fun. She talks about how definitions have been altered to make dangerous men sound appealing rather than harmful. She talks about the red flags and how we see the red flags, but we have been conditioned to ignore them. We have physical symptoms such as anxiety, an upset stomach or TMJ. We have an intuition that something is off.Why do we ignore these red flags? We have been conditioned by society and our families to be nice, that the gender roles of women are assigned us tell us to be submissive, or abuse we have suffered in the past makes us more tolerant to certain situations. What are the Dangerous men we need to avoid? 1. The clingers or suffocators 2. The parental seekers 3. The emotionally unavailable man 4. The man with the hidden life 5. The mentally ill man 6. The addict 7. The abuser or violent man 8. The emotional predator/sociapath Learn the red flags and how to avoid these people.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Roberta

    Every woman, young, or old, should read this book! Of course, not all men are dangerous! ..Being well-informed on what the mindset and behavior(s) are, in dangerous men, is WISE! If I had this book before I married, I would have chosen differently. Most girls-to-women want to find a relationship with a man that is happy! full of warm, wonderful memories! It is what EVERY woman desires! However, in our American culture, today, there are a LOT of damaging relationships! Not the fairytaile we dreamed. Every woman, young, or old, should read this book! Of course, not all men are dangerous! ..Being well-informed on what the mindset and behavior(s) are, in dangerous men, is WISE! If I had this book before I married, I would have chosen differently. Most girls-to-women want to find a relationship with a man that is happy! full of warm, wonderful memories! It is what EVERY woman desires! However, in our American culture, today, there are a LOT of damaging relationships! Not the fairytaile we dreamed... We lose the fairytale watching the news regularly; there's another painful (story... after story). Females being maimed, wives emotionally destroyed, or murdered, by damaged men! whom they were involved, in a relationship. Sandra's book, HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN -- BEFORE! You get Involved, is just-in-time! It will not only SAVE WOMEN from the horrifying behind-the-back, "scheming and conniving" of their lives by damaged men, but also spare the wife-lover-girlfriend, severe! mental/emotional trauma, brainwashed children, and agonal heartache!! It points women in the right direction BEFORE! getting deeply involved --- with the wrong man. This book, saves you from ruining your life! Thank You! Sandra! SEE: www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com

  8. 4 out of 5

    Lexy

    This book started out strong and piqued my interest, especially around the pathology of dangerous men. Having recently exited a relationship with a pathological and very dangerous man, I was looking forward to reading this one. Unfortunately, I felt the author blamed the victim for much of this book and that left a bad taste in my mouth. The author completely disregarded the cycle of violence in abusive relationships that keep women trapped, and how compelling and detrimental this cycle can be. This book started out strong and piqued my interest, especially around the pathology of dangerous men. Having recently exited a relationship with a pathological and very dangerous man, I was looking forward to reading this one. Unfortunately, I felt the author blamed the victim for much of this book and that left a bad taste in my mouth. The author completely disregarded the cycle of violence in abusive relationships that keep women trapped, and how compelling and detrimental this cycle can be. As a professional in the social services who has a background in psychology, I feel as though the author’s narrative regarding what portion the abused partner is to blame, to be dangerous in and of itself. Some useful information at the end of the book around what healthy relationships look like could have been expanded on.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Kellie

    I got this book from my therapist. She said it will help me realize what I didn't see in the previous "boys" BEFORE I got involved with them. I haven't gotten through much of it cuz I never have time LOL But I think you two (Karlie and Kiera) could use this book in your practice! I got this book from my therapist. She said it will help me realize what I didn't see in the previous "boys" BEFORE I got involved with them. I haven't gotten through much of it cuz I never have time LOL But I think you two (Karlie and Kiera) could use this book in your practice!

  10. 5 out of 5

    Mary V

    Get out of jail free for women who have dated predators must read for everyone! Great book full of good advice for women who have dated predatory men. Teaches women to recognize the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. All women should read it.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Denise Cruz

    This was recommended to me by a friend and I have since recommended it to many friends. How do we keep from making the same mistakes we have made in the past? How do we learn to trust ourselves and our choices again? How do we free ourselves from bad situations? How do we understand why we made those choices in the first place and why we tolerated it for so long? We do it by educating ourselves. This book should have been required reading for all girls/women and it wouldn't hurt men to read it e This was recommended to me by a friend and I have since recommended it to many friends. How do we keep from making the same mistakes we have made in the past? How do we learn to trust ourselves and our choices again? How do we free ourselves from bad situations? How do we understand why we made those choices in the first place and why we tolerated it for so long? We do it by educating ourselves. This book should have been required reading for all girls/women and it wouldn't hurt men to read it either. After all, there are pathological women out there too. It's gives a basic understanding of pathological behavior, how to spot it, and how to remove yourself from the situation. It makes it clear that the person with the pathology cannot be "fixed". Boy!!!, knowing that would have saved me years of frustration and heartache. It is eye-opening for me not only into the behaviors and dangers of the person with the pathology, but also in understanding myself and what I learned to tolerate from childhood. Having been involved with a "Dangerous Man", it is a long road to recovery and rebuilding of trust in self. After reading this book (twice) I feel better equipped to recognize red flags earlier on and not to tolerate or excuse questionable behavior. It's a slippery slope into the misery and shame that one becomes trapped. Reading this book is like getting the secret decoder ring - we can spot you coming from a mile away...keep moving.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Krissy

    It was good, but not great. Very generic and extremely basic language and examples used. Didn't really go too much in depth and wasn't very descriptive for my taste. Kind of vague. Reading In Sheep's Clothing by George Simon now- definitely more my speed. I needed something that was a tad more clinical. I just felt like this was a very basic glossing over of the topic and was very repetitive and boring. Seemed like the kind of paper you would write in college- just trying to fill up pages so you It was good, but not great. Very generic and extremely basic language and examples used. Didn't really go too much in depth and wasn't very descriptive for my taste. Kind of vague. Reading In Sheep's Clothing by George Simon now- definitely more my speed. I needed something that was a tad more clinical. I just felt like this was a very basic glossing over of the topic and was very repetitive and boring. Seemed like the kind of paper you would write in college- just trying to fill up pages so you end up repeating the same thing over and over without really giving any good and in-depth knowledge of each topic to the reader. Bored me to tears and didn't really give me what I was personally looking for.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Tifany

    This book is very valuable- a logical and concrete set of steps for avoiding dangerous men. Whether you’re dating or just have an interest in psychology like I do it’s super helpful in understanding this phenomenon. Highly recommend.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Josephine

    I liked it, eye opening and with the personal testimonies it made the book interesting. I loved that she did not only blame the men.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Meg

    This has so many highly problematic thoughts but also some gut punching truths.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Sarah Schmidt

    The examples are as extreme as it gets, but it's really eye opening if you or someone you know has continually chosen bad partners. It gives you the power of knowledge to choose better. The examples are as extreme as it gets, but it's really eye opening if you or someone you know has continually chosen bad partners. It gives you the power of knowledge to choose better.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Amy

    Excellent resource. Highly recommend!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Agapi Gregoriou Loreléy

    Outstanding book. Every woman should read this book ASAP. Full review soon. This is definitely a MUST-READ!!! Highly, highly recommended!!!

  19. 4 out of 5

    Chanie

    Books like these are so important to read. I wish I read this 20 years ago.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Eva

    This is a very helpful book when dealing with relationships. It provides great descriptions on the various forms of abuse you can encounter and warning signs you should watch out for. Unlike other books it is not so much about dealing with abuse when you are already there: it's about prevention, and in that way it is very useful (in an entertaining kind of way). I think everyone, men or woman, should read it, because it makes conscious what we often try to forget. I would like to clarify that no This is a very helpful book when dealing with relationships. It provides great descriptions on the various forms of abuse you can encounter and warning signs you should watch out for. Unlike other books it is not so much about dealing with abuse when you are already there: it's about prevention, and in that way it is very useful (in an entertaining kind of way). I think everyone, men or woman, should read it, because it makes conscious what we often try to forget. I would like to clarify that no one should abuse another person, but sadly it is an everyday occurrence and a very real danger when dating, so you should be prepared to recognize the signs and draw the line before it's too late; or being prepared to help and support your friends and family. So go ahead, take a look around. You have nothing to lose and a hell of a lot to gain.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Brent Cope

    Contrary to the title's implication - this book is a great read for men and women. Written from the female perspective, it helps women identify dangerous men, however when consciously flipped it's tips can also be used to protect men from dangerous women. A lot of the psychology discussed is more prevalent in males, however it does have manifestations within females as well. The examples are very enlightening, and give a basis as to why one might want to take heed the advice presented. It's also Contrary to the title's implication - this book is a great read for men and women. Written from the female perspective, it helps women identify dangerous men, however when consciously flipped it's tips can also be used to protect men from dangerous women. A lot of the psychology discussed is more prevalent in males, however it does have manifestations within females as well. The examples are very enlightening, and give a basis as to why one might want to take heed the advice presented. It's also a great source of "red flags" or warning signs that one should be on the lookout for so one can avoid future dating disasters. Her style is also very straight-forward and easy to understand, no complicated psycho-babble here, it's all in lay-mans terms and broken down into bits that are easily digestible. Overall, highly reccomended!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Mindset Self-Defense

    This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved.Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim’s stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- ho This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved.Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim’s stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of Dangerous Man.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Melissa Mary Lopez

    Must read! This is a great book . It is well written and very informative. It really help me to distinguish what is safe and what isn't safe. It helped me to understand how it is I came to be in unsafe relationships so that I could not make the same mistake twice . I highly recommend it for anyone who has found themselves in a Harmful , abusive, or violent relationship . This book is extremely well-written, easy to read and understand. Must read! This is a great book . It is well written and very informative. It really help me to distinguish what is safe and what isn't safe. It helped me to understand how it is I came to be in unsafe relationships so that I could not make the same mistake twice . I highly recommend it for anyone who has found themselves in a Harmful , abusive, or violent relationship . This book is extremely well-written, easy to read and understand.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Deb Bryan

    Before you get involved...I wish I would have had this book as a teenager. Or after you get involved, this book is the fly on the wall describing life with pathological people and a good passageway into the real work of recovering.

  25. 4 out of 5

    m.o.m.

    This is a book every mother should read and then give to her daughter (and son).

  26. 4 out of 5

    Barbara Davi

    Every women should read this book!

  27. 4 out of 5

    Susan I.

    This book should be required reading for all women.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Squishy Wendy

    Only focuses on females as victims. These can also be applied in reverse. To simplistic and paints men as problematic in general.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Charlie Van cleve-schmidt

    Important read for all women, especailly mothers, sisters and friends.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Diane D. Kahl

    Indispensable Thank you! I will refer this outstanding and lifesaving book to women of all ages! Knowledge is indeed power. Namaste!

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